A familiar ol' 'Top Gun,' some stale 'Burgers,' and the real 'Emergency'

Friday, May 27, 2022

A familiar ol' 'Top Gun,' some stale 'Burgers,' and the real 'Emergency'

The first Academy Award winner of 2022 arrives with "Top Gun: Maverick," but it actually shows up after all is mostly said and done. That's when the inimitable Lady Gaga belts out "Hold My Hand," already a dead-mortal-lock Best Original Song ballad she co-wrote to soar majestically over the closing credits, just like the many fighter jets do over enemy territory during this typically explosive summer blockbuster sequel.

Of course, Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" walked away with the Song Oscar from the original "Top Gun," even if "Danger Zone" (which did go on to earn Kenny Loggins a Grammy Award) was the upbeat credits closer 36 years ago. In fact, some quickly "Danger"(ous) notes can be heard dancing around "Maverick," which also uses more photos than clips to bring back memories from America's No.1 box-office hit of 1986.

Otherwise, the biggest reminder obviously comes with the return of legitimate movie star Tom Cruise, now admirably playing a more mature and wiser version than the young hotshot who earned his titular nickname as a heroic and excitingly successful test pilot.

Also back is Val Kilmer, still called "Ice" by some, but now the U.S. Naval Commander of the (entire) Pacific Fleet. Naturally, his emotional reunion scene with Cruise will be the best 10 minutes in the film for many, but they also might notice all the nifty and newest digital cinematography moments from Claudio Miranda, already an Oscar winner himself for 2013's "Life of Pi," currently in his fifth big-screen collaboration with director Joseph Kosinksi.

The rest has Kosinski ("Only the Brave," "Tron: Legacy") serving up the requisite summer schmaltz and gravy, including a side of Jon "Too Much" Hamm," as the superior officer who repeatedly, testily and haplessly rags on Maverick's every spirited move. Talk about mad men!

Rated "PG-13" by MPAA: sequences of intense action and some strong language; 2:12; $ $ $ out of $5

Please excuse the bun, but "The Bob's Burgers Movie" really must be more than just an acquired taste, no? After all, the FOX-TV series on which it's based has been running every Sunday night for 11 years.

I think I watched the animated show's opening episode and never went back (unlike "The Simpsons," first noticed in this corner as a cartoon short on the old "Tracy Ullman Show" in 1987, and still occasionally viewed today during its own incredibly enduring -- and on-going record -- 33rd season).

Sad to say, the "Burgers" movie simply doesn't go down so easily. Three or four laugh-out-loud-instigating jokes and a few (very) silly songs in a dinosaur-paced 100 minutes do not a successful comedy make.

Besides, the murderous plot has gloomy Bob Belcher (H. Bob Benjamin) and ever-boosting wife Linda (John Roberts) worrying about paying the rent. And, that's even before a sudden and huge sinkhole not only hampers their eatery business, but leads to daughter Louise (Kristen Schaal), the youngest of three oddball Belcher kids, to finding skeletal remains at the bottom. Uh, maybe next time we'll just order fries.

Rated "PG-13" by MPAA: rude/suggestive material and language; 1:42; $ $ out of $5

Finally, that leaves the movie week's only real thought-provoker with "Emergency" (already in some select theaters and debuting on Prime Video today).

It features two college kids hoping to enjoy the fun of their senior-year spring break. Though Kunie (welcome newcomer Donald Elise-Watkins) is trying his best to complete the mold experiment that will help him advance to post-grad studies at Princeton, he somewhat reluctantly agrees to take his party-hardy cues from best pal Sean (RJ Cyler, still smartly funny after his "Harder They Fall" success).

The setup suggests lotsa rollicking stuff ahead, right? Well, what follows does provoke some satirical laughs, but potential racial implications speak timely and emotional volumes, too.

It all comes from director Carey Williams ("R#J") and writer K.D. Davila, who collected the Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award after the film premiered at Sundance last January. The movie's final image alone is a killer.

Rated "R" by MPAA: pervasive language, drug use and some sexual references; 1:44; $ $ $ and 1/2 out of $5

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Daliland ($ $ $)

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

The Little Mermaid ($ $ $ $)

Fast X ($ $ and 1/2) "Even with four Oscar winners, furious action rules one more time."

Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie ($ $ $ $)

Book Club: The Next Chapter ($ $ and 1/2)

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Discontinued ($ $ $)

Peter Pan & Wendy ($ $ and 1/2)

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Ghosted ($ $)

Guy Ritchie's The Covenant ($ $ $ $)

Quasi ($ $ and 1/2)

Renfield ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Super Mario Bros. Movie ($ $ and 1/2)

AIR ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

Spinning Gold ($ $ and 1/2)

I Like Movies ($ $ $ $)

The Lost King ($ $ $)

A Good Person ($ $ and 1/2)

Boston Strangler ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Moving On ($ $ and 1/2)

Champions ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Scream VI ($ $ $)

Creed III ($ $ and 1/2) "Director/star Jordan hits hard; Screenplay still needs more punch."

Cocaine Bear ($ $) "Love the wild title predator, not the movie."

Ant-Man and the Wasp ($ $) "Crawls instead of buzzes."

Sharper ($ $ $) "Not bad, but shoulda been, uh, even sharper."

MINI-REVIEW: Knock at the Cabin ($ $ and 1/2) "This alleged thriller from noted supernaturalist M. Night Shyamalan, a man famous for movies with plot surprises, can boast an original twist of its own even before the projector begins to work. That's because it is only the second screenplay director Shyamalan has not penned alone, here joining forces with a couple of first-time feature writers in adapting a Paul Tremblay novel ("The Cabin at the End of the World") for the big screen. Maybe that's why 'Knock' becomes more of a slow burner than a persistently riveting take, despite a quartet of home invaders, led by a nice-guy (and occasionally creepy) schoolteacher portrayed by big Dave Bautista. Their chilling message to the cabin-dwelling family of three: Please help us save the world by killing one of your own. Unsettling? Yes, of course it is. A thoroughly engaging watch? Not in this Anthropocene."

Living ($ $ $ $)

The Son ($ $)

Women Talking ($ $ $ and 1/2)

M3GAN ($ $ $)

A Man Called Otto ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Pale Blue Eye ($ $ $ and 1/2)

I Wanna Dance with Somebody ($ $ and 1/2)

Corsage ($ $ $ $)
Babylon ($ $ $)

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish ($ $ $ and 1/2)
The Whale ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Avatar: The Way of Water ($ $ $ $)

Nanny ($ $ and 1/2)

Empire of Light ($ $ and 1/2)

Emancipation ($ $ and 1/2)
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio ($ $ $ $)
White Noise ($ $ and 1/2)
The Inspection ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special ($ $ $ $)

The Swimmers ($ $ $)

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery ($ $)
The Fabelmans ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Spirited ($ $ and 1/2)

Devotion ($ $ $ and 1/2)
She Said ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

The Menu ($ $ and 1/2)

The Wonder ($ $ $ $)
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever ($ $ $)
Good Night Oppy ($ $ $ and 1/2)

MINI-REVIEW: Causeway ($ $ $ $) "Jennifer Lawrence and Brian Tyree Henry knock it out of the park as a pair of wounded souls looking for peace and contentment in the Big Easy. Finding anything close to such security, of course, appears rather difficult considering the pains of personal experience each has been confronting. Two-time Oscar-winner Lawrence speaks volumes here even when she's not saying much, while Tony- and Emmy-Award nominee Henry soars in the role of newfound therapeutic friend trying to heal himself. The little treasure from first-time feature director Lila Neugebauer is streaming exclusively now on AppleTV+."

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story ($ $ and 1/2)

The Return of Tanya Tucker ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Banshees of Inisherin ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

MINI-REVIEW: Armageddon Time ($ $) "If not for the performance of Anthony Hopkins, as a smart and loving grandfather, this alleged '80s-era memoir from writer/director James Gray would disgrace parents, teachers and just about every adult surrounding the major brat it centers upon. That would be a creepy 12-year-old (Banks Repeta), who simply becomes dreadfully unlikable, thanks to each malfeasant move he makes. Talk about revisionist history, "Armageddon" also creates an assortment of fictitious moments -- such as bringing in two apparent members of the Trump family -- simply to pin blame on events occurring then for the political meanderings going on now. Yeah, right."

The Retaliators ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Ask Me to Dance ($ $ $)

Everybody Dance ($ $ $ $)

MINI-REVIEW: Louis Armstrong's Black & Blues ($ $ $ $ and 1/2) "This latest 'Jammie' from director Sacha Jenkins practically takes the fabled jazz musician and all-around showman from cradle to grave with a fascinating assortment of personal letters and revealing audio recordings left by the performer himself. Of course, those of a certain age might recall seeing the personable trumpeter all over the place. My parents loved the man called 'Satchmo' and, so then, did I. In fact, his week as co-host of the daily 'Mike Douglas Show' made for truly classic television, and a bit of that stint is sprinkled throughout this doc. Anyway, it's all meaningful viewing, starting Oct. 28 only on AppleTV+ (after world-premiering at last month's 47th annual Toronto International Film Festival)."

My Policeman ($ $ $)

Raymond & Ray ($ $ $)

Ticket to Paradise ($ $ and 1/2)

Halloween Ends ($ $ $)

Rosaline ($ $ $ and 1/2)
TÁR ($ $ $ $)

Werewolf By Night ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Triangle of Sadness ($ $ $ $)

Mr. Harrigan's Phone ($ $ $)

Hellraiser ($ $)

Amsterdam ($ $ and 1/2)

The Greatest Beer Run Ever ($ $ $)

The Good House ($ $ $)

Blonde ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Sidney ($ $ $)
Don't Worry Darling ($ $ and 1/2)

The Woman King ($ $ $)

Forbearance ($ $ $)

Take the Night ($ $ $ and1/2)

A Love Song ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Love in Kilnerry ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Emily the Criminal ($ $ $ $)

BodiesBodieBodies ($ $ $)

Easter Sunday ($ and 1/2)

Bullet Train ($ $)

Prey ($ $ $)

Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen, a Journey, A Song ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Vengeance ($ $ $)

Nope ($ $ $)

Marcel the Shell With Shoes On ($ $ $ $)

The Gray Man ($ $ $)

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Thor: Love and Thunder ($ $ $)

Minions: The Rise of Gru ($ $ and 1/2)

Facing Nolan ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Stalker ($ $ $)

The Black Phone ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Elvis ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

The Phantom of the Open ($ $ $ $)

Good Luck to You, Leo Grande ($ $ $ $)

Lightyear ($ $ $)
Cha Cha Real Smooth ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

Jurassic World: Dominion ($ $ and 1/2)
Hustle ($ $ $)

Jazz Fest: A New Orleans Story ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Top Gun: Maverick ($ $ $)
The Bob's Burgers Movie ($ $)

Emergency ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Valet ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Downton Abbey: A New Era ($ $ $)

MINI-REVIEW: Firestarter ($ $) "The 1984 original featured talents such as Drew Barrymore, George C. Scott, Art Carney and still mostly burned out. This new version, also based on the ever-superior Stephen King novel, is headed by Zac Efron. Now that's really kinda scary. Ryan Kiera Armstrong, the young Barrymore lookalike who stars as the girl with the title powers, does hold her own, but it all seriously plays like a mediocre TV movie. After all, you could be watching it stream on Peacock, if not in theaters."

Petite Maman ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Duke ($ $ $ $)

Dr Strange in the Multiverse of Madness ($ $ and 1/2)

MINI-REVIEW: All My Puny Sorrows ($ $ $ $ and 1/2) "This small Canadian indie will make you laugh and cry with its intelligent and touching story of a family now mostly consisting of five women trying to avoid one more tragedy in their lives. Famous sisters played by Sarah Gadon (as a world-class pianist) and the exceptional Alison Pill (a novelist) are at the center of it all, along with always-solid Mare Winningham, as their roll with the punches mom. Michael McGowan's direction and script -- particularly filled with brilliant dialogue -- offer plenty to ponder, as well."

The Northman ($ $ and 1/2)
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore ($ $ $)
Father Stu ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Mothering Sunday ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Better Nate Than Ever ($ $ and 1/2)
Apollo 10 1/2 ($ $ $)
Morbius ($ $)
MINI-REVIEW: The Lost City ($ $ and 1/2) “Sandra Bullock, Channing Tatum and an extended superstar cameo instigate a few laughs but, among other miscues, the tepid screenplay offers no infusion of 'Harry Potter'-like magic for an allegedly villainous turn by Daniel Radcliffe. Too bad, since fun support from Patti Harrison, Da’Vine Joy Randolph and Oscar Nunez almost saves the movie.”

The Outfit ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Turning Red ($ $ $)
The Adam Project ($ $ and 1/2)
The Batman ($ $ $)
Cyrano ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
No Exit ($ $ and 1/2)
Drive My Car ($ $ $ $)
The Worst Person in the World ($ $ $ $)
Jockey ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
Death on the Nile ($ $ $)
MINI-REVIEW: Jackass Forever ($ and 1/2) "It remains pure and unadulterated torture porn, with MTV-famous 'humans' still hurting themselves while acting as real and total jackasses."

Parallel Mothers ($ $ $ $)
Flee ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Scream 2022 ($ $ $)
Belle ($ $ and 1/2)
A Hero ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
The Tragedy of Macbeth ($ $ $ $)
The Tender Bar ($ $ and 1/2)
A Journal for Jordan ($ $ and 1/2)
The Matrix Resurrections ($ $ and 1/2)
Beanie Mania ($ $ $)
Licorice Pizza ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
Sing 2 ($ $ $)
The Novice ($ $ $ $)
Mother/Android ($ $)
The Lost Daughter ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
Swan Song ($ $ $)
Spider-Man: No Way Home ($ $ $ $)
Nightmare Alley ($ $ and 1/2)
Don't Look Up ($ $ $)
West Side Story ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
Being the Ricardos ($ $ $)
National Champions ($ $ and 1/2)
Labyrnth of Cinema ($ $ $ $)
Wolf ($ $ $)
The Hand of God ($ $ $ $)
Encounter ($ $ and 1/2)
Benedetta ($ $ $)
C'mon C'mon ($ $ $ $)
Bruised ($ $ and 1/2)
Encanto ($ $ and 1/2)
House of Gucci ($ $)
Julia ($ $ $)
The Power of the Dog ($ $ $)
Ghostbusters: Afterlife ($ $ $)
King Richard ($ $ $ and 1/2)
tick, tick . . . Boom ($ $ $)
Belfast ($ $ $ $ $)
Violet ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Passing ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Spencer ($ $ and 1/2)
Finch ($ $ $)
Eternals ($ $)
Last Night in Soho ($ $ and 1/2)
The French Dispatch ($ $ $ $)
This is Not a War Story ($ $ $ and 1/2)
The Electrical Life of Louis Wain ($ $ $)
Becoming Cousteau ($ $ $)
Dune ($ $ $)
Halloween Kills ($ $)
The Rescue ($ $ $ $ $)
The Velvet Underground ($ $ $ $)
No Time to Die ($ $ $ $)
I'm Your Man ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Lamb ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Titane ($ $ $)
The Many Saints of Newark ($ $ $ and 1/2)
The Starling ($ $)
Dear Evan Hansen ($ $ $)
The Mad Women's Ball ($ $ $ $)
The Eyes of Tammy Faye ($ $ and 1/2)
The Card Counter ($ $ $ and 1/2)
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Vacation Friends ($ $ $)
Candyman ($ $ $)
The Protege ($ $ $)
The Night House ($ $ $ and 1/2)
CODA ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
Respect ($ $)
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It ($ $ $)
The Suicide Squad ($ $ $ and 1/2)
The Green Knight ($ $ $ $)
Joe Bell ($ $ and 1/2)
Old ($ $)
Space Jam: A New Legacy ($ $ and 1/2)

Gunpowder Milkshake ($ $ $)

The Woman Who Ran ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Black Widow ($ $ and 1/2)

No Sudden Move ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Summer of Soul ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

The Boss Baby: Family Business ($ $)

The Forever Purge ($ $ and 1/2)

Marathon ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Too Late ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Sparks Brothers ($ $ $ $)

Luca ($ $ $ $)

Holler ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Spirit Untamed ($ $)
A Quiet Place Part II ($ $ $)

Cruella ($ $ and 1/2)

Dream Horse ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Those Who Wish Me Dead ($ $ $)

Before/During/After ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Gunda ($ $ $ and 1/2)

In Action ($ $ $)

Wrath of Man ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Truffle Hunters ($ $ $ $ $)

Tom Clancy's Without Remorse ($ $)

Together Together ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Touch ($ $ $)

Vanquish ($ and 1/2)

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Concrete Cowboy ($ $ and 1/2)

French Exit ($ $ and 1/2)

Godzilla vs. Kong ($ $ and 1/2)

Nobody ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Courier ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Father ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

Raya and the Last Dragon ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Coming 2 America ($ $ $)

Cherry ($ $ and 1/2)

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Nomadland ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

Land ($ $)

The Mauritanian ($ $ and 1/2)

Minari ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

Judas and the Black Messiah ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

Two of Us ($ $ $ $)

Falling ($ $ $ and 1/2)
76 Days ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

Malcolm & Marie ($ $ $)

Palmer ($ $ $)

The Little Things ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Our Friend ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Minor Premise ($ $ $ and 1/2)

One Night in Miami ($ $ $)

Herself ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Pieces of a Woman ($ $ $)

Shadow in the Cloud ($ $ $ and 1/2)

News of the World ($ $)

Ice Cream in the Cupboard ($ $ $)

Promising Young Woman ($ $ $ $)
Soul ($ $ $ $)
The Midnight Sky ($ $ $ $)

Greenland ($ $ $ and 1/2)

I'm Your Woman ($ $ $)

Another Round ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

The Racer ($ $ $)

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom ($ $ $)

Black Bear ($ $ $ $)

Dear Santa ($ $ $ $)

The Croods: A New Age ($ $ $)

Uncle Frank ($ $ $)

Mank ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Sound of Metal ($ $ $ $)

The Last Vermeer ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Nest ($ $ $ $)

The Life Ahead ($ $ $ and 1/2)

Hillbilly Elegy ($ $ $)

Freaky ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Fatman ($ $ $)

Let Him Go ($ $ $ $)

Beasts Clawing at Straws ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)

On the Rocks ($ $ $)
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm ($ $)
The Trial of the Chicago 7 ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Time ($ $ $ $)
The War with Grandpa ($ $ and 1/2)

The Glorias ($ $ $)
Kajillionaire ($ $ $)
Working Man ($ $ $ $)
Shooting Heroin ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Northwood Pie ($ $ $)
Bill & Ted Face the Music ($ and 1/2)
Unhinged ($ $ $)
Words on Bathroom Walls ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Desert One ($ $ $ $)
River City Drumbeat ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
The Burnt Orange Heresy ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Kaye Ballard The Show Goes On ($ $ $ $)
Toss It ($ $ $)
Flannery ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Greyhound ($ $ $ and 1/2)
The Outpost ($ $ $ $)
Comfort Farms ($ $ $)
In Bright Axiom ($ $ $)
Irresistible ($ $ $)
Da 5 Bloods ($ $ and 1/2)
7500 ($ $ and 1/2)
Artemis Fowl ($ and 1/2)
The King of Staten Island ($ $ $)
Judy & Punch ($ $ $ and 1/2)
The High Note ($ $ and 1/2)
Burning Dog ($ $ $)
The Vast of Night ($ $ $ $ and 1/2)
Soundwave ($ $ $)
The Third Strike ($ $ $)
True History of the Kelly Gang ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Bull ($ $ $ and 1/2)

The Dalai Lama -- Scientist ($ $ $)
Nemesis ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Trolls World Tour ($ $ and 1/2)
Silent Panic ($ $ $)
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The Traitor ($ $ $ $)
Onward ($ $ $)
Greed ($ $ and 1/2)
The Invisible Man ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Portrait of a Lady on Fire ($ $ $ $)
Once Were Brothers . . . ($ $ $ and 1/2)
Seberg ($ $ and 1/2)
Standing Up, Falling Down ($ $ $ $)
Downhill ($ $)
Birds of Prey . . . ($ $ $ and 1/2)
The Song of Names ($ $ and 1/2)
Les Miserables ($ $ $ $)
The Rhythm Section ($ $)
Family Obligations ($ $ $ and 1/2)
The Gentlemen ($ $ $ and 1/2)
READ MORE FROM JOHN HERE AT TIFF 47
Spielberg memoir brings home top 'People's' prize
CIFF vets find Gravitas and indie choices in live return
Halfway home but 10-day film feast still has tasty menu
Tribute Awards and weekend stars go live again
Cleveland meets Toronto, each with 47th fests on tap
North America's largest film showcase begins Sept. 8

2022's Top 10 movies (in alphabetical order):

All My Puny Sorrows (mini review above); Avatar: The Way of Water; The Banshees of Inisherin; Cha Cha Real Smooth; Emily the Criminal; Louis Armstrong's Black & Blues (mini review above); She Said; TÁR; Triangle of Sadness

2021 Top 10 movies (in alphabetical order): Belfast, Coda, Cyrano, A Hero, Jockey, Licorice Pizza, The Lost Daughter, The Rescue, The Tragedy of Macbeth, West Side Story

No Top 10 films in 2020 (Covid pandemic)

See John's Top 10 films of 2019

See John's Top 10 films of 2018

See John's Top 10 films of 2017

See John's Top 10 films of 2016

See John's Top 10 films of 2015

See John's Top 10 films of 2014

See John's Top 10 films of 2013

See John's Top 10 films of 2012

See John's Top 10 films of 2011