Monday, February 27, 2017

Shining some light on last evening's major Oscar snafu

"Moonlight" wins it. It really, really wins it.
"La La Land" lost Best Picture last night to "Moonlight" in one of the most stunning Oscar upsets of all time, during perhaps the most wild and woolly Academy Awards telecast ever.

Certainly everyone is still buzzing this morning about the alleged "accountants' error" that caused presenters and iconic former co-stars Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway to read the wrong winner. Now, our sources are spreading around a plethora of potential conspiracy theories about what really happened.

So, with apologies to David Letterman, the guy Oscar host Jimmy Kimmel calls his biggest inspiration, here are the top 10 best possibilities:

10. Matt Damon wanted "La La Land" to win; Kimmel preferred "Moonlight."

9. Kimmel sidekick Guillermo Rodriguez got drunk backstage with the "certified" guys and gals from PricewaterhouseCoopers.

8. There are continuing various reports of hidden figures when the lights at the Dolby Theater were shut off on two occasions.

7. The winning envelope was discovered behind the grassy knoll left over from the "Moana" number.

6. The audience's attention was more focused on trying to figure out what the hell Scarlett Johansson was actually wearing.

5. Shirley MacLaine and Warren Beatty have been plotting something like this ever since they were kids.

4. For the past year, a Hollywood Boulevard prophet has been billboarding the sign: "Dropping donuts from the skies brings moonlight."

3. CNN and the New York Times were trying to report fake news.

2. Bonnie and Clyde strike again!

1. Ratings prove that simply no one was watching.

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